Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Why did the chicken cross the road?


Okay, folks, you may have seen this already but I just received it from Tom Neef and I thought it so enjoyable I just had to pass it on.

Q: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?


BARACK OBAMA:The chicken crossed the road because it was time for
a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN:My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all
the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:When I was First Lady, I personally helped that
little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely
qualified to ensure right from Day One! that every chicken in this
country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this
really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH:We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or
not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle
ground here.

DICK CHENEY:Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL:Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON:I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE:I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY:Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled
about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain
against it.

AL SHARPTON:Why are all the chickens white? We need some black
chickens.

DR. PHIL:The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize
that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road
before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we
need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking
on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH:Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which
is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the
chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of
life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive
across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN:We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but
we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the
road.

NANCY GRACE:That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can
see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs
when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
insider information.

DR SEUSS:Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been
told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL:Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends,
that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become
gay, too.

GRANDPA:In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming
story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.

BILL GATES:I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of
eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will
never crash or need to be rebooted.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the
road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS:Did I miss one?

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