Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Secret de-coder machine found!

Okay, so it's a year old, but I just discovered an article from The Ox Files about the discovery of a "dissenting enigma machine" that de-codes contemporary Catholic "we are church" speak into plain English.

Three of my favorites:
Original coded Message:
“We need a pastoral plan that focuses on the horizontal, as well as the vertical aspects of faith.”

Same message after decoding by the D-Enigma machine:
“We need to stop talking about divinity and salvation, and start focusing on feelings and hosting more wine and cheese evenings in the parish.”

Original coded Message:
“We are Church.”

Same message after decoding by the D-Enigma machine:
“We are Catholics who really want to be liberal Anglicans.”

Original coded Message:
“The Church hierarchy needs to listen more to the stories of its people.”

Same message after decoding by the D-Enigma machine:
“We need to have more wine and cheese evenings to talk about our feelings and all the Church teachings we don’t like.”

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