Friday, July 28, 2006

More nice words from Perfesser Creekwater

Today, a lilting rhyming poem from my brother Mark the perfesser. He recently emailed me from Champaign-Urbana, home of the University of Illinois Champaign/Urbana campus, from whence Bill & I graduated lo those many years ago.

Now they have crossed into Indiana.

His walk with CrossWalk America-- and his writing me from my old college town -- puts me in mind of when Bill & I hitch-hiked from the East Coast to the West after graduation, a delayed honeymoon. That was in 1971, when lots of folks were hitch-hiking and hardly anyone was getting cut up and butchered for their pains. Now, the highways are not safe for the thumb. Of course my mom worried and fretted her heart out when Bill and I traveled, as I'm sure I would have also were I in her place. But it really was a safer time to solicit rides from friendly strangers.

My mom, much as she disapproved of our hitch-hiking journey, nevertheless gave us our first ride, driving us from her home in New Castle, Delaware to the entrance to the Pennsylvania Turnpike. My grandfather, Frank Moss, went with her to drop us off. He was close to 90 at the time, and it was his only visit to Delaware from Texas in all the years that my mom lived up North. He told me on that visit that the two things he could always count on when he was in company were: 1) that he would be the oldest man there and 2) that he would be the only man wearing a hat.

I asked my mom how my Grandfather felt about what Bill and I were doing. She said, oh he's more against it than I am, he doesn't understand at all why you would want to do something so foolish... but you're his granddaughter and ... well, ... you're his granddaughter.
EARTH + SKY

THE SKY IS MY ROOF
THE EARTH IS MY HOME
THIS MUCH IS TRUE WHERE*EVER I ROAM

A POSITIVE ATTITUDE OUT ON "THE STREET"
RESPECT + COMPASSION FOR PEOPLE I MEET

I USE WHAT I FIND I STEAL FROM NO ONE
I LAY DOWN TO REST WHEN DAY'S WORK IS DONE

AND EVEN THO LIFE IS NOT ALWAYS A LARK
I LOOK FOR THE LIGHT EVEN WHEN IT IS DARK

I TRY TO GO FORWARD EACH DAY AS I LIVE
IF YOU DO ME WRONG I AM QUICK TO FORGIVE

IF I DO YOU WRONG THEN I HOPE + I PRAY
THAT WE SOON CAN BE FRIENDS AGAIN
WITHOUT DELAY

SINCERELY - M.D. 1990

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

GRAYISH SPACE ON PAPER PAGES: NICE WORDS BY MARK DORAZIO

As I continue to discuss controversial issues with the CrossWalk America folks, I thought I would transcribe some of my brother Mark's poems from a journal he wrote in 1990 when first starting out as a long-distance walker. The dedication is "TO MY SISTER RAE", and a little further on in this entry I will write you the first poem in the book, which probably inspired the dedication. But I will start off with this short one. The CWA folks, I wonder -- if St. Francis of Assisi were to join their walk, would they recognize it?

JUST PASS*ING THRU

WHEN I WALK
IT'S LIKE I PUT ON BIRD*WINGS
AND GLIDE ALMOST EFFORT*LESS*LY
GREAT DISTANCES
ACROSS TOWNS + VALLEYS + HILLS +
FIELDS + STREAMS
PEOPLE SEE ME WALK*ING:
MOST*LY THEY PAY ME NO MIND:
I'M NOT A THREAT:
I'M JUST PASS*ING THRU



COMMUNICATION

I TELEPHONE TO MY SISTER HAPPY*BIRTHDAY
AND SHE INFORMS ME I AM TIED IN TO
THE COMPUTER NET*WORK
INTERFACE*ING IN COMMUNICATION WITH
MY FLEET*OF*THOUGHT COMPADRES
-- BROTHERS + SISTERS THRU THE
MIRACLE OF ELECTRONIC
TECHNOLOGY

SINCERELY - M.D. NOVEMBER 1 1990
NEW*YORK*CITY



CHRISTMAS*SEASON

WE ANTICIPATE THE WINTER*SOLSTICE
WHEN THE SUN BEGINS TO COME BACK
TOWARD US
AND WE CELEBRATE A WONDER*FULL
MAN WHOSE NAME WAS JESUS
WHO LIVED AND DIED ALMOST
TWO THOUSAND YEARS AGO
WHOSE SPIRIT HAS NEVER DIED
HIS SPIRIT IS WITH US NOW

I MAKE A VOW TO PRAISE HIM
FOR THE WONDER*FULL THINGS WHICH
HE DID DO FOR ME AND
FOR THE WONDER*FULL THINGS WHICH
HE DID TEACH TO ME --

LORD JESUS CHRIST
PLEASE HELP ME TO BE GOOD

Saturday, July 22, 2006

non-destructive stem cell research abounds

Forbes Magazine has an article today titled
Despite Bush Veto, Stem Cell Research Abounds. Whatever axe it has to grind is economical, not political, so it is gratifying to see an accurate reporting of the abundance and success of non-destructive stem cell research. The fact is that even without the ethical problems, there are good reasons to pursue therapeutic paths other than human embryonic stem cell (hESC) research. The wool is still being pulled over the eyes of the public by the pro-hESC folks, who continue to argue that they want to do hESC primarily to find cures for diseases. They don't. What is driving the push for hESC is not the desire to cure diseases but the desire for funds for pure research. It's all about the money, the prestige, and the desire to conquer new paths of knowledge. Embryonic stem cells are JUST SO DAMNED PLURIPOTENT that scientists covet them irrationally. I read a blog the other day that ridiculed Rick Santorum for trying to pass legislation to get NIH to fund research to look for non-destructive methods of obtaining pluripotent cells. What a waste of money, this blogger said, when we already have a perfectly good source of pluripotent cells NOW!

I am quite sure that the God who is creator and redeemer of this fragile and wounded world will be more than happy to guide us to pluripotency that does not require the destruction of human beings at the earliest stage of development. As the Forbes article indicates, researchers are already coaxing pluripotency out of stem cells acquired non-destructively. What is this cloud of stubborness that shrouds the stem cell issue and keeps ordinary people of good will convinced that the only way to pluripotency is through destroying human embryos?

As the Church Lady says, "Could it be ... SATAN?!?"

If he wasn't so spiteful to the God I love, I could almost admire the cleverness of the Father of Lies. How spectacularly he can play the human instrument.


Friday, July 21, 2006

Woman, why are you weeping?

Tomorrow is the feast of St. Mary Magdalene. The gospel for tomorrow's feast contains this beautiful line addressed by Jesus to his faithful female friend and disciple. Wouldn't we all love to hear it directed to us personally?
"Woman, why are you weeping?"


It was inevitable, I guess, but I find myself at odds with the folks in CrossWalk America, whose cross-country walk for Christ my brother Mark is making. In St. Louis, they were met by pro-life protesters who held signs containing photographic evidence of the horror that is legalized abortion. Although CWA takes no stand on abortion per se, Affirmation 11 of the Phoenix Affirmations touches on the subject obliquely. Affirmation 11 is actually one of the affirmations that first attracted me to the group and their efforts. It reads:
"Affirmation 11 Caring for our bodies, and insisting on taking time to enjoy the benefits of prayer, reflection, worship and recreation in addition to work;"

As Mark explained it to me early on, one of the reasons this group is walking across the country is to slow down the pace of their busy lives, and demonstrate by their own example that caring for our bodies involves allowing time each day for prayer, reflection, worship of God and recreation.

The trick comes in how Affirmation 11 is interpreted in the full version. Read through to the end:

As Christians, we strive to embrace and embody ways of living that promote the health of the body, the joy of living, and the benefits attained when work is combined with rest and recreation, reflection and prayer. We do this for our sake, for the sake of others, for the sake of the earth, and for the sake of Christ.

We affirm that the Path of Jesus is found where Christ’s followers care for their bodies as temples of the holy, and take time to pray and play, to worship, and to reflect, as essential parts of their vocation.

We confess that we have moved away from this Path when we have supported the ethics of Pharaoh over the ethics of God by promoting systems of production and consumption without attending to the disciplines of rest and recreation, reflection and prayer. We have further moved from the Path when we have denigrated or abused our bodies, or those of others, or denied the rights and responsibilities of others to make decisions about how they care for the bodies God gave them.


Did you catch that last sentence? "We have further moved from the Path when we have ... denied the rights and responsibilities of others to make decisions about how they care for the bodies God gave them." It is this that apparently prompted the protesters to carry the kind of "dead fetus" signs that I carry once a month or so for Delaware Right to Life in their Face the Truth demonstrations by the public highways of Delaware. They also held signs proclaiming marriage as between one man and one woman, in counter-distinction with current efforts to re-define marriage to include homosexual unions. CrossWalk America is a "gay-friendly" spiritual community whose agape has strayed into political advocacy for the re-definition of marriage along those lines mentioned earlier.

Scott Griessel, the independent filmmaker who is accompanying CrossWalk American and making a documentary of their journey, has some excellent photos and commentary on the protesters on CWA's blog. I have been impressed by Scott's blog entries even when I disagree with him because he is self-reflective and is an authentic photo-journalist -- he records reality and interprets his records as objectively as possible, while not standing back from the fray and pretending that he is a mute (and neutral) recording device. He knows that subjectivity creeps into his (and any observer's) viewpoint, and factors that in as he strives to describe truth through his pictures and words.

Scott sees absolutely no value in showing pictures of dead fetuses but completely approves of the protester's (and my) right to show them.

I love freedom of speech. The other day, Steve Elliot and I found ourselves apparently the only two pro-life activists to show up for a Saturday morning Face the Truth demonstration. We turned out to both have mis-read the announced gathering place, and both showed up at Border's instead of Borders Cafe, better known by my family as the EAT restaurant because of its huge sign saying "EAT" that can be seen from the interstate.

Steve is a wiry pro-life guy I see all the time but had never talked to at length before Saturday. Physically he resembles my brother Mark, and he has the same intensity of commitment to living a life in accordance with truth as he sees it. As with Mark, he has no cant in its classic meaning of "Empty, solemn speech, implying what is not felt; insincere talk; hypocrisy."

While I was holding a sign that had no pictures but only a verbal anti-abortion statement, a fellow in a car slowed down to read what I was holding. When he comprehended what I was demonstrating against, he took both hands off the steering wheel, leaned close to his window, grimaced fiercely and gave me the finger with both hands, jabbing for emphasis.

I thought, as I stood there, what a wonderful country it was that I could freely stand by a highway proclaiming an opinion that folks like that fellow find infuriating. In so many countries in the world, an action like that would put my freedom and my life in danger. Like in China, where my neice recently observed the police come and handcuff, then take away, a woman holding a sign outside of Tiananman Square.

Woman, why are you weeping? Christ is addressing those words to me personally. I don't know, Lord. My tears are tears of joy. I weep for the goodness of Your Being, amid all the sorrow and confusion of this world we your wandering sheep stumble blindly through, held up by Love and Love alone.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Revolutionary words that have become way too familiar to us

I have been praying about the situation in the mid-east with more fervor than usual. I have been reading and studying the Hebrew psalms lately, much to my own delight and consolation. I think that being steeped in the prayer of ancient Israel has opened me up to the immediacy and familiarity of modern Israel's struggle to live safely and justly amid peoples who not only keep the ancient enmities close to their hearts but also grieve their modern losses and nurse their current grudges.

I read the passage that follows in Colossians this morning, and it hit my ears like a Zen koan. The words are contrary to our inclinations and even to common sense. They've been cheapened over the centuries by our misunderstanding them, in our darkness, and using them to heap psychological guilt on ourselves and one another. But they so clearly call out the core of our Christian reality. How do we so easily forget the clarion call of the new life Christ lived, died and rose to give us?

"You are the people of God... So then, you must clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

Be tolerant with one another and forgive one another whenever any of you has a complaint against someone else. You must forgive one another just as the Lord has forgiven you.

And to all these qualities add love, which binds all things together in perfect unity. The peace that Christ gives is to guide you in the decisions you make; for it is to this peace that God has called you together in the one body.

And be thankful. Christ's message in all its richness must live in your hearts. Teach and instruct one another with all wisdom. Sing psalms, hymns, and sacred songs; sing to God with thanksgiving in your hearts. Everything you do or say should be done in the name of the Lord Jesus, as you give thanks through him to God the Father."

Friday, July 14, 2006

CrossWalk America: list of activities in July


DEAR FOLKs:
THIS-HERE IS CROSS-WALK AMERICA's SCHEDULE-OF-ACTIVITYs
IN + NEAR ST.LOUIS,MISSOURI + SPRINGFIELD,ILLINOIS: SORRY FOR THE SHORT-NOTICE:
** FRIDAY-14-JULY-2006: WE WILL START WALK'N 8AM @ CORNER ILLINOIS STATE-ROUTE 3 + CHAIN OF ROCKs ROAD, JUST SOUTH OF I-270 ... WE WILL FOLLOW RT.3 NORTH-WARD-LY, THRU ALTON, BY-WAY-OF LEWIS+CLARK BLVD + W.ST.LOUIS AV + HOMER M. ADAMs PKWY, WHICH MERGEs WITH RT.111 ... THRU BRIGHTON TO SHIPMAN ROAD, 14 MILEs SOUTH OF ROCKBRIDGE ... CALL 602-573-3369(CELL) FOR OUR EXACT-LOCATION
AT ANY TIME ...
** SATURDAY-15-JULY-2006: WE WILL START WALK'N 7AM WHERE WE STOP'D YESTERDAY ... NORTH-WARD-LY ON RT.267 THRU ROCKBRIDGE
TO 10 MILEs NORTH OF GREENFIELD, AT RT.267 + COUNTY-ROU! TE 35,
SOUTH OF STATE-ROUTE 967 ... CALL 602-573-3369 FOR OUR EXACT-LOCATION AT ANY TIME ...
** SUNDAY-16-JULY-2006: CHURCH-SERVICEs IN SPRINGFIELD,ILLINOUS,
WHERE CROSS-WALK-AMERICA PASTORs WILL PREACH
+ OTHER CWA-WALKERs WILL HANG-OUT:
8:30AM + 10:30AM AT 1ST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH,
321 S 7TH STREET, SPRINGFIELD, 217-528-4311
10AM AT LUTHER MEMORIAL EVANGELICAL LUTHERAN CHURCH,
2600 5TH STREET, SPRINGFIELD, 217-523-7931
** 4PM SUNDAY-16-JULY-2006: PRESENTATION + POT-LUCK
AT HOPE PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH, 62 W HAZEL DELL, SPRINGFIELD
... PUBLIC IS INVITED .....
SINCERE-LY, "PERFESSER" MARK CREEK-WATER
PEACE-WORKER/WALKER, MID-USA, AMERICA

Friday, July 07, 2006

Answered prayers

I'm trying to get better at following up on prayer requests. The 16-year-old nephew of Pauline Sister Margaret Charles Kerry, who was hospitalized in Houston with a sudden high fever on his way to outreach work, is back at home with his parents, well and looking forward to resuming his trip if possible.

Thank you for your prayers! Deo gratias!

Rae

Moro Rogers rides again

Here is your chance to look at Sophie "Moro" Rogers' animated short without the annoying green and purple static you saw if you looked at youtube last time I posted a link.

Or your chance to see this next generation Catholic anime for the first time, if you didn't see it before.
Two monsters walking in the desert encounter a third monster who's about to commit suicide. Deep issues of religion and gender identity! Plus Pascal's wager!

Q and Peachy in "Reasons to Live."


Wednesday, July 05, 2006

serendipity

I have named my guardian angel Accident. Why? Because 1) my angel has never revealed his/her/its own name and 2) I love serendipity. The dictionary.com definition of "serendipity" is:
ser·en·dip·i·ty ) Pronunciation Key (srn-dp-t) n. pl. ser·en·dip·i·ties

1. The faculty of making fortunate discoveries by Accident [capitalization mine -- Rae].
2. The fact or occurrence of such discoveries.
3. An instance of making such a discovery.
Horace Walpole coined the term, taking the name from a fairy tale of Sri Lanka (old name: Serendip) called The Three Princes of Serendip: as their highnesses traveled, they were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things which they were not in quest of....

In no particular order, here are some cool sites I discovered by Accident:

T E X T F I L E S D O T C O M, that glorious world of ASCII text communication. Includes a nifty archive of old BBS textfiles, also a link to BBS: The Documentary which, according to Jason Scott its creator, includes:
Four years, thousands of miles of travelling, and over 200 interviews later, "BBS: The Documentary", a mini-series of 8 episodes about the history of the BBS, is now available. Spanning 3 DVDs and totalling five and a half hours, this documentary is actually eight documentaries about different aspects of this important story in the annals of computer history.

Ray Gun Revival, described by its Overlords (yes, it has Overlords) thus (or thusly, I forget which is correct):

The modern world has lost its sense of adventure. In an world that is ever more regulated, legislated, and moderated, people need an outlet from recurring payments, cubicle farms, and restrictions of every kind.

However, the modern world hasn’t lost its capacity for adventure, and it is here that the classic adventure tale delivers its greatest impact. We all need a little escape in ways that we only dimly recognize and can’t begin to measure.

Ray Gun Revival provides just that, a throwback publication that revisits space opera and golden age sci-fi. Our stories focus more on character development than hard science and sail all the wide-open waters between fantasy and harder sci-fi. Think of the original Star Wars stories, Doc Smith's Lensman series, the Warlord of Mars tales from Edgar Rice Burroughs. Think of everything from John Carter and Gully Foyle to Kimball Kinnison and Han Solo.

Ray Gun Revival is about dusting off the pulp adventure stories of old and giving them a fresh spin. We are bringing out the deepest elements of what has traditionally been rather superficial fiction and updating them for a new generation of fiction enthusiasts.

I read the opening story, Flinteye's Duel by Sean T. M. Stiennon, and sighed a sigh of purest reading pleasure. Ahhhhh. Hopefully the rest of the magazine is as good. I really can't say Accident brought me to this site, it was being on the Christian SF-fandom mailing list that did that, and I think Marty Helgesen introduced me to that list years ago. So ultimately it was Marty who was my angel for this one.

Oops. Got to cut it short. Moby the Great White Dog is giving me short, loud barks that mean "Take me out, take me out NOW!!"

Sunday, July 02, 2006

essay on Mark's poetry

I went digging into the archives of rec.arts.poetry, where my brother Mark and I were both regular posters for awhile, and found this essay written by Wlodzimierz Holsztynski on Mark's poetry. His analysis, though long, is instructive and reminded me of how much I love Mark's poems. He has only been writing prose these days, but after reading Wlod's excerpts from Mark's poems I want to go and dig them up again, and publish them here. He really is a remarkable poet, a true artist who writes as he lives, directly and honestly touching the core of what it is to be a human being.

From: Wlodzimierz Holsztynski - view profile
Date: Sun, Oct 28 1990 3:47 am
Email: w...@netcom.UUCP (Wlodzimierz Holsztynski)
Groups: rec.arts.poems


ABOUT POEMS BY MARK D'ORAZIO

I feel that Mark's poems are worth 50 cents each or a dollar for three.
I feel that his poems are second to none. I felt that way immediately
but it took me days to realize why.

* * *

Mark's poems are written in the upper case.
Mark also uses symbols * and +. These symbols would stand up too
much if he used lower case. Mark uses + and * just in right
proportion to break the monotony of the upper case. Now the upper
case letters are welcome friends, bold and shy at the same time.
Keep reading.

* * *

Mark often but not always substitutes "AND" with "+". He has
a very good reason. Word "AND" has in English two meanings.
One is the logical AND like in the statement:

(I have a pencil) AND (I don't have a pen)

Another usage is that of addition or union:

I have a dog + a cat

There is a distributivity law which allows us to translate
this statement to:

(I have a dog) AND (I have a cat)

Our standard everyday English is sloppy, hence we write
"and" in both situations. English might be sloppy but Mark
the artist is sharp. He writes, in different poems:

SHE IN LOVE
AND I ALSO IN LOVE

+

LOST + LONE*SOME LATE AT NIGHT

+

WHERE ART + LIFE DWELL TOGETHER

The shyness + peacefulness + good will radiate from Mark poems,
while poetically Mark acts with the simplicity + confidence + power.

Depending on the circumstances I would suggest that we pronounce
Mark's + as "and" or as "plus", whichever sounds nicer.

* * *

My pure (poor) logic is not an adequate tool to study Mark's usage
of "*". Of course I can see that he both divides words like in

WE SIT IN A DOOR*WAY
or
A WONDER*FULL EVENT

thus making us aware of the conceptual components of complex words
(or ot the grammatical components as in WALK*ING LOST ...). On
other occasions Mark does the opposite, he combines two words into
one but preserves their identity - the new word shows it's heritage,
and we are not shocked by the construction, we feel peaceful:

I WANT TO BE A WORD*SMITH
or
TRUCK*SOUNDS FROM THE ROAD (do you hear a hi-fi record too?)

In effect Mark once again offers his own construction which is
more true than the "legal" English constructions. We have,
according to Mark, pairs of words which are separated by a space,
pairs of words which are separated/joined by *, and just single
words. You have a similar situation in the regular English, except
that the historic evolutionary development of the "legal" English
does not keep up with the true language. Thus Mark, as in the case
of + versus AND, follows the "true" language. He combines/separates
words not according to the official dictionaries. He does not need
them. Mark is confident and has no doubts.

Here logic is the less fateful part of the story. The one that
counts relates to the ear and to the pleasure one feels in her/his
mouth from pronouncing words, like in

SUDDEN*LY I SEE CITY*LITES DOWN BELOW ME

("LITES" not "LIGHTS" to enhance the pleasure of pronouncing).
Of many logical combinations, Mark chooses those which are a de*lite
to pronounce. A refined linguist should do this study of Mark's
star. Since imitation is the highest form of flattery, let me
commit the blasphemy of trying my hand at Mark's devices, let me be
his first student:

A SMALL BOY LOOKS
AT ME + GREETS
ME: PEE*PIL

You never know - within a few years hundreds of poets may follow
Mark like in the past they had followed Basho.

I see*imagine Mark reading his poems aloud, he reads them care*fully,
while we should read them careful*ly.

* * *

Many poets + critics pay attention to the efficiency of words.
Several of us raised that issue here on rap. Like other notions,
efficiency is a guidance, not a rule. If we feel that a poem
does not work, that it is flat, then one of the things we would
check is efficiency. But there is nothing mechanical about it.

On the surface Mark does not worry about efficient usage of words.
In some poems he allows overlaps of the meaning + repetitions.
You will not get however that feeling by straight reading.
His poems actually feel to me very simple, very efficient.
Only by following the text with your finger and checking the words
instead of reading the poem you'll convince yourself that indeed
Mark's poems may be not efficient in the simplistic, routine sense.
So, what's the situation?

Let's consider one example (but what an example!), which is a series
of dictionary explanations:

BOHEMIAN AVANT*GARDE FANCY is the title; colorful, because of
bohemian, exotic; then with "fancy"
there is no more danger of any pose;
still better, "fancy" has also a positive
contribution of adding to the champagne
atmosphere

AVANT*GARDE: ADVANCE*GUARD from abstract, foreign, to a little less so.
BOHEMIA: A PLACE IN MIND
WHERE ART + LIFE DWELL TOGETHER delightful! we travel from a
a symbol to its meaning.
I FANCY MY*SELF A POET ... "poet" - abstract;
TO COMMUNICATE now less abstract;
TO BE WITH PEOPLE ... already concrete;
TO BE NOT LONE*SOME and personal, straight to the heart!
I WRITE NICE WORDS
TO CREATE
TO COMPOSE THOUGHT*IMAGES do you get the feel that you're
TO STAGE WORD*PRODUCTION dealing with a (poetic)
factory ?!! After explaining
what it means to be a poet in terms of
feelings, Mark has explained what it is
in terms of the technique, work, process.
I WANT TO BE A WORD*SMITH
TO PUT WORDS TOGETHER IN NICE WAYS: the ":" means that an explanation
follows;
A WONDER*FULL EVENT "event" - seems abstract but in a
AS MANY WORDS ARE SENT moment it transpires that it's a stage
TO STAND UP ON A PAGE event; and nothing paperish about it.
AS ON A PAPER STAGE
a beautiful, beautiful image!

(this could've been the end of the poem; there is another part - see
the last section of this article).

Where we, many poets "succeed" in making paper out of gentle
(of course) breezes/winds and of birds/hearts/seas, Mark succeeds
in making a lively (!) image out of paper. Incredible!

If you "read" the above poem with your finger tracing a line after
a line, this poem is nothing but virtual repetitions. But "virtual"
is the key. With each "repetition" we understand more -
we learn a notion after a notion by this method
until we graduate + get our reward, the magnificent final IMAGE.
(So many poems are somewhat spoiled when author "magnificently"
finishes with an abstract "chewed up" summary - then s/he hears
from others the advice, cross it out).

Moral: an accidental inefficiency or sloppy overlap is one thing
while a systematic, consistent construction is something else.

There are no simple rules, just simple guidances.

* * *

Mark is hardly in any danger of being ever abstract or cliched.
He shows his easy control over the issue:

...
A PRECIOUS JEWEL IN CENTRAL PENSYLVANIA
THE STATE CAPITOL o?! did we catch him?

I GROW A BIT POETIC ABOUT IT not a chance. he meant to
sound like a poetic non-poet
( + like a tourist guidebook);
THIS IS TRUE an apology for sounding abstract;
YOU MIGHT GROW A BIT POETIC YOUR*SELF
IF YOU WERE OUT THERE WALK*ING "walk" like a noun; reminds
LOST + LONE*SOME LATE AT NIGHT marek lugowski's breaks
AS I WAS

beautiful. Good poets have or develop an instinctive dislike of "paper".

* * *

I tried to have my eyes open to any aspect of Mark's poem,
including weaknesses, if there were any. I've spotted just
one place which I think, perhaps wrongly, to be weaker -
the last line of the same gorgeous Bohemian poem:

THE WORDS PERFORM FOR YOU
THE WORDS DO TRICKS FOR YOU

IF ONLY YOU WOULD STOP TO GAZE
TO STRETCH YOUR MIND ACROSS THE HAZE
WHICH STANDS BETWEEN US:
BETWEEN MY SOUL AND YOUR SOUL (a 3-rd kind of "and" - as
a coma)

This 6-line ending is a very nice poem on its own.
Every time I write about poems I feel fear and meadow's banknotes
in my stomach (I'm borrowing the Mazz's half of the mirror). I feel
like this in every case, whether I think that the poems in question
are "good" or "bad". But then, there is no way around it. Thus I'll
get my courage + (:-) suggest:

BETWEEN MY SIDE*WALK AND YOUR SIDE*WALK


Regards to everybody and words of deep respect for "tis poet" Mark,

-- Wlod

PS. It is possible that the line which I've criticized, Mark has written
for the sake of his audience, under the pressure of their expectations.