Monday, July 19, 2004

Too Blah to Blog

Okay, so I am doing the Donec Formitur retreat, by myself, with Sr. Kathryn James as "retreat master" and spiritual director; this is an exercise and trial in doing a variation on the Ignatian retreat over a series of weeks, not one solid block of time. I am on week two although chronologically I began the retreat sometime in May or June.
 
All the spiritual gurus in the Catholic tradition, including Fr. Alberione, speak about the "inconstancy" of human behavior, or human will. As in, my life has been busy this week, my health is acting up again, and I just don't "feel" like doing anything ... certainly I don't feel like continuing on in this retreat UNTIL I feel more energetic, by which I mean more positive, more oriented outward, etc. etc. Is that the inconstancy they mean? That we only want to journey seriously towards God with Christ as our companion when we're in a good mood... or, not even a good mood, because I can't say that my mood has been to crappy, but only when we are in a TRANSCENDENT mood? On or off, turn the switch, either we feel like setting our feet on the path or we feel like coasting and going through the motions... since God knows we have enough to both do and to distract us without ever needing to stop, look and listen to the voice of the Lord calling in a respectful whisper, not trying to grab our attention with stunts that say Look at Me, Look at Me, I'm here, pay attention to Me. Is that why God gets short shrift, because He doesn't resort to childish behaviors to get and keep our attention?
 
HAP - health, activism, presence. Donec formitur - until He be formed in me. Phone is ringing. Goodbye.

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